Chuck Norris Facts:
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
Not impressed yet??
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris was kicked out of college for be so smart. Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.